frogger8807's Xanga

I don't like my spinal cord. Won't you take it out?

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:51:16 GMT

I'm sick of feeling. I get so emotional over petty little shit these days. I can't get over Ray. I can't stop kicking myself for not hanging out with him more. I can't cry and I can't sleep. I am absent minded and forgetful of the most important shit. I try to write about it, and I start to think. I start to think about it, and I get all sad. You'd think that by getting sad, I'd want to cry.
crying is hard for me. It took months for me to cry over it all. I feel like I might again, though. You never know. Last time I thought I would, I just sat there, stone faced. That was at his funeral.
I wish I was tralfamadorian. I could look at this and say "so it goes" and move on with my life.
gah! afjdkalfjdsklajfsadF!jklgjklsdafja!

Unstoppable.

Sat, 16 May 2009 04:02:44 GMT

1. Curiosity

My story begins in a comic shop during an interview with the coolest man in town, Victor Smart. He was looking at my résumé and nodding. He had these glasses on that made him look older than he was. For the record, he was 52. He looked close to 60 with those glasses. I don’t know why. His hair was brown and mostly fully there on his head. He had very few wrinkles, and a chiseled face. The glasses just made him old.

I couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say. Vic never liked surprises. He didn’t want anyone else to be surprised either. He would tell me right away if I got to work in his store. I knew he’d say I could. But there was a part of me that said “what if he doesn’t?” Y’know? I think everyone gets that feeling when they need a job.

“So, Mr. Daniel Smith. You want to work here why?” He said every word of that last sentence slowly, with emphasis, tapping the end of his pen on his clipboard after each syllable.

I shifted in my seat a little. I remember doing that. I remember everything that happened in that time, I was so nervous. “Well, I’m pretty much nuts about comic books.”

“Are ya?” Vic smiled. I had known him for years, and he knew I was crazy about comic books. He was being sarcastic.

I laughed nervously. It was nice that he was trying to ease the tension, but it wasn’t working. “Yeah. I also like card games and whatnot, but I’m mostly into superheroes.”

“Who’s your favorite superhero?”

I thought a minute. “I really liked Captain Unstoppable.”

Vic’s smile got bigger. “I liked him too. Did you like him because he was real?”

“Yeah. I mean, he was a local icon and all, but that’s not the reason I like him. He saved my life when I was just a kid. My apartment was on fire and I was trapped. He came through for me, though. It was in the newspaper and everything.”

Victor smiled. “Well I don’t need to tell you that you got the job.”

I beamed. I must have looked stupid. Here I was, 21 years old and beaming about a part time job at a comic shop. I should’ve been ashamed of myself, but I wasn’t. Believe it or not, working in that little comic shop was my dream job. It sounds stupid, but I think everyone has a secret desire to just work in a little shop forever. But not everyone can because little shops like that only hire certain types of people; the kind that can just shoot the bull with you or tell you exactly what you want to know about anything in the store like they don’t have anything better to do all day than just brush up on their knowledge of everything in it.

Anyway, I was working one day about two weeks after I had started. It was closing time and I was cleaning the bathroom. I noticed a door was there that I hadn’t noticed before. It was just a door with a sign that said “keep out.” I mean, it was probably just a storage room, but I wanted to check it out. The sign said keep out. That’s the only reason I wanted to see. I inserted my master key into the lock. It fit.

Just as I put my key in, Vic came up behind me and said, “Curiosity killed the cat, Danny.”

I jumped about five feet in the air when he said that. I had no idea he was behind me. “Wh-what’s behind that door?” I stammered a little. I was still partly in the air, and trying to come down.

“Nothing. It’s personal storage. I actually own this property, and the stuff behind that door is confidential. That’s the only room in the store you’re not allowed in.”

“Why so secretive, sir?” I was really curious about this thing.

“It’s just a small bedroom that I use if I’m working late in the winter or something.” That sounded reasonable to me.

“Oh, okay. Sorry I was so nosy.”

Vic snorted. “Sorry? Come on, you’re not sorry. And I don’t blame you for not being sorry. You got the right to be curious. I just don’t want you to see my undies.”

I laughed at this. Vic was an old man to me. Hearing him say “undies” was funny. I shrugged it off for the next couple weeks.

One day, my curiosity got the best of me. I was sweeping the place. Vic had stepped out for lunch, and I had the store to myself. I grabbed my key, ran to the door, and unlocked it. I opened it to find nothing but a room.

It was just a room. There was nothing there. He was telling the truth after all. I looked around a bit. The room was actually pretty cool. There was a cot that didn’t look at all uncomfortable, a lamp that was certainly used for reading, and a dresser that kept his clothes. There was also a rug that looked kind of out of place. It was real tacky, y’know? It was kind of crooked, too. That bugged me.

I bent over to move it and noticed a latch. It was a trap door that this rug was covering. I threw the rug aside and opened the door.

Below the store, there was this huge open space. I flicked on the light and discovered a trove of memorabilia. I hadn’t seen any of this stuff in years. The stuff on the wall and on counters was this gear that belonged to Captain Unstoppable. None of it ever went to an auction house. That meant my boss was at one time Captain Unstoppable. Victor Smart suddenly rose to the top of my personal hero list.

I walked over to the mask on the counter and put it on. When I put it on, I felt this sense of immortality. Like I could skydive without a parachute and live.

“What did I tell you about your curiosity!?” I recognized that voice right away. He punctuated every word. I could tell he was angry.

I turned around, still wearing the mask, and said to Vic, “you were him. Captain Unstoppable.”

“You’re fired, Danny. Get out.”

“Vic, you can’t just turn your back on a responsibility like this!” I was getting a little hot under the collar myself.

“I already did! And if you tell anyone about this whole thing I will kill you.”

“You’re an asshole if you think that turning your back on this is the solution to the problem.” I didn’t know what I meant by that. It sounded right though, and it looked like it hit home. He looked hurt.

“Well, I guess I’m an asshole. But I’m also the one with a job, a store, and a lot of money. You, however, have nothing.”

I didn’t say anything. I had a lot I wanted to say. All I did was take the mask off and throw it on the counter. After I did that, I collapsed.

When I came to, I was lying on the cot. I heard Vic rustling about in the cellar. I went down there to see what he was up to.

“I had forgotten,” he said when I came down, “that the mask is the one thing on that suit that makes someone feel the power of the whole suit after taking it off. Once you take it off, you crash. Are you Ok? You took a nasty fall.”

“I’m alright.” I had a nice little bump on my head where I hit the counter. “Am I still fired?”

“Honestly? No. I figured you’d find it sooner or later. I just didn’t expect to go off the handle like that. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” And I was. I really was. But I had questions, so I asked. “What are you going to do now?”

“Me? I’m packing this stuff up and giving it to you.”

“Me? What’ll I do with it?”

“Sell it. You’ll make a fortune off this stuff. When I was Captain Unstoppable, I got really famous. People all over the world are wanting to get their hands on this.”

I didn’t want to sell it. It was too cool. “I’m sorry sir, but I can’t sell this.”

“Then keep it. I don’t want it anymore. It’s just a reminder of who I was. I just don’t want it anymore.”

I just stood there with the box that held the suit and all its stuff, feeling like a kid who just received a used action figure complete with accessories.

2. Leaving Out the Details

My dad is a bad man. He doesn’t like me, my mother, or any of my grandparents. He said so himself. He used to be in politics. Then his psychotic side surfaced on public television. I guess the reporter was asking too many questions about his personal life, and he just snapped. He killed her and severely injured a police officer. He was put away in prison for a while. He got out though, and became known as Dr. Kane, the crazed scientist bent on ruling the world. He was stopped by Captain Unstoppable, and forced to retire.

I’ll spare you the details about all of that. I went to visit him at home and said, “hey pop.” He was working on his car.

“Fuck you, kid.” Did I mention my dad hates me? He hates that I visit. That’s probably one of the reasons I do it.

“Don’t start. I’m not the reason you’re miserable.”

“No. Captain Unstoppable. That masked fuck is.” Maybe he knew who Vic once was, maybe he didn’t. Point is, Captain Unstoppable put an end to his ways. Some people say I should hate Captain Unstoppable for it, but I don’t. If anything, I idolize him more.

“You were the one who escaped, pop.”

“Quit calling me pop. You know anything about your mom? She talked about me since I been gone?”

“No, pa—er, dad.” Mom actually did talk about dad, but not fondly. She loved him once, I’m sure. But that was a long time ago before she knew that he was a madman. I didn’t want to say any of that to him. He’d just get mad again.

“Well, you tell her…” he teared up a bit. “tell her I don’t miss her. Not one bit. I don’t think about her at night, and I don’t ever look at her picture. You tell her that.” His voice didn’t crack once, but I thought I saw a tear roll down his face and get caught in his mustache.

“yeah, dad, I’ll tell her.”

“I’ve got work to do.” He wiped his face with the back of his hand. “Keep your nose clean and get out of here.”

“I will.”

I could only think about how much I hated the way my father was on the way home. He used to be a great man, I guess. My mom tells me stories about it sometimes when I visit her. At that time, I was still moving out, though, so I dropped by there to let her know how I was doing and to pick up some of my stuff. Namely my video games.

“Hey son.” She answered when she came to the door.

“Hey mom.” I hugged her.

“How are you?” She was always curious to know.

“I’m alright.” I always responded.

“You just got back from visiting your father, didn’t you?” she always knew.

“Yes.” I never lied.

She sighed. “You know how I feel about him.”

“He misses you.” I told her.

“Did he say that?” She looked like she cared, but I wasn’t sure.

“No. Not directly.” I thought about saying that he did, but I figured it wouldn’t help at all.

“Oh. Well what else is new?” She wanted to change the subject before she started to get really angry.

I sat down on the couch and put my feet on the coffee table. “not much, mom.”

“Take your feet down when you have shoes on!” My mom was really picky about stuff like that. You couldn’t have your feet on the table if you were wearing shoes, and even if you weren’t she didn’t like it.

I took my feet down right away and said “sorry mom. Anyway, did I tell you I got that job at Smart’s Comic Shop?”

Her face lifted, she smiled and said, “No you didn’t! Congratulations! I know you’ve wanted to work there for a while now. But don’t you think you should go to college?”

“We’ve been through this, mom.”

“I know. It’s just…you can’t really have a career as a stockboy, can you?”

“No. But I can manage the store.”

“You’re not managing now, though.”

“Give it some time, I just got the job.”

We talked for a while after that. About my childhood friends, about my mom’s friends who I don’t care about, about the pastor of my mom’s church who I’m not crazy about at all, but she is, about all the things she cared about. The fact that I only got a few words in edgewise didn’t bother me. I don’t like to talk much unless I’m telling an interesting story. I had nothing interesting to say. The reason I came to visit my mom was for her sake. These days, she needed to see me more than I needed to see her.

Anyway, what was I going to tell her? I was now in possession of the one thing I’ve always wanted? Sure, she’d be proud, but she’d only worry. I couldn’t let her worry.

I left after a few cups of coffee and almost two hours of her talking to me. I love my mom, but I don’t like the way she goes on. It’s embarrassing. She doesn’t even talk about things that matter. Just gossip. I guess all moms are like that. I’ve never met a mom who didn’t like to gossip.

I got home and almost forgot to bring the box up to my apartment. I totally forgot about grabbing my game system from my mom’s house, so I knew I’d be bored tonight. I grabbed the box and brought it upstairs.

On the way up, I saw Nicole Moore. Nikki was an old friend who I had crushed on since I had met her in 7^th grade. I said hello.

“Hey Dan. What’s in the box?”

“Oh. This? Um, just stuff I forgot at my mom’s place.”

“Oh, I see. Tell your mom I said hi next time you see her.”

“I’ll do that, she misses you.” I didn’t know that, but I figured she would, considering her and Nikki used to be close.

“Aww, that’s sweet. I gotta go though.” She turned to walk downstairs.

“Hot date?” I asked.

She glanced over her shoulder, “Oh, no, just a get-together with some friends. Why so curious?”

“I’m not!” I was sorry I showed curiosity. “I just…I don’t want you to get hurt with the wrong guy.”

“I’ve already been hurt, but I appreciate your concern.” She smiled at me and walked the rest of the way down. She had such a great smile.

I beamed. To you, I may seem like Mr. Smiley because I've beamed twice in this story already, but it should be noted that I beam only when I’m really happy about something. This story has taken place over the course of about three weeks now, so I think I should be taken off the hook as Mr. Smiley.

I set the box down in my apartment and sat down on my couch. I turned the TV on and decided that there was nothing good on.

I went to my room and laid down.

Hours passed and I couldn’t sleep. I went out and opened the box with the suit in it. I pulled it out. It was yellow and black with a blue cape. There was a note inside.

It was from Vic.

“Dan,

“The box contains the suit. I think you ought to know what everything does before you try it on. I know you will, so don’t come back and tell me that you didn’t.

“Firstly, the boots help with speed. With these babies on, you can beat a cheetah in a footrace, easy.

“Secondly, the jumpsuit helps with your agility. You can climb any wall and leap amazing heights and lengths. Beyond that, you have the ability to kick the asses of both prize fighters and high level black belts in all martial arts due to the advanced reflexes it gives you.

“Next is the gloves which help you carry heavy things and pack a mighty punch. Last time I hit someone with these, the guy went through a brick wall. The heaviest thing I carried was a Mack truck.

“The cape is what helps you fly. You can only fly about 300 feet in the air though, so no breaking the ozone layer. You can, however, fly for as long as you want without getting severely tired if you’re wearing the whole suit.

“the goggles are a big part of what make this suit the coolest thing any man has ever seen. They come with features such as x-ray vision, night vision, heat sensitive vision, and laser vision—where you can see laser grids and whatnot.

“Finally, we save the best for last, the mask is what makes this suit so perfect. While wearing this mask, you are invincible. There is nothing that can hurt you or kill you while wearing it.

“The suit is not bulletproof or indestructible, so be careful and make sure you keep your mask on, no matter what. Even if the bullet reaches your heart, the mask will give your heart enough strength to expunge the bullet and heal itself in very short time.

“I hope you put this to good use. For God’s sake, don’t run out and use it either. I don’t want to see it on the news.

--Victor.”

I finished reading the letter and looked at the mask. It was really sharp looking. It had these black horns on the eyes while the rest of the mask was yellow. The rest of the suit matched. The gloves were pointed at the ends where you put your hand in, and the boots were flared in the same fashion.

I put the left glove on. I felt the power surge up my arm and into the rest of my body. It didn’t blow me back, though, like you’d expect. I just held still for the most part. I looked at my arm, which had grown muscles. In fact, the whole left side of my body had grown muscular. Looking in the mirror was funny, because I was really skinny without the suit on, so on the left I was all bulky and huge, and on the right I was really small.

I put the other glove on and watched myself bulk up in the mirror. My shirt ripped, and my pants broke. I was now about 6’6” and had biceps the size of coconuts. This was not the way I remembered Captain Unstoppable. Sure, he was muscular, but he didn’t look like that bulky guy from the comics.

I took the gloves off and felt myself get smaller. I looked at Vic’s letter again. On the back there was a diagram of the suit. Various parts of the suit were labeled with numbers. The bottom read:

Dan, in case you try to put the suit on, you should know that you have to put the jumpsuit on first if you’re going to wear the gloves. The jumpsuit ensures that you won’t be too big to block attacks, but be strong enough to knock out an elephant. You also have to wear the boots if you’re gonna wear the cape. Otherwise, you won’t get the speed for liftoff. If you wear the mask without the gloves, your body will become immortal while you wear it, but you won’t be able to take the mask off without collapsing. If you take the mask off after you take the rest of the suit off, you will certainly pass out from exhaustion. It may or may not kill you. The goggles are really the only thing you can use singularly. They didn’t come with the suit; I had a scientist engineer them.

Realizing this, I put the jumpsuit on first. Then I put the boots on, then the gloves, and so on. I left the cape off. I wasn’t ready to fly yet.

I opened my window and crawled out the fire escape. I’ll admit, I was scared. I wanted to crawl back in and get into bed. But I was tired of doing the same thing every night, and I had left my video games at home. I jumped up and across, leaping halfway over the building next to me and landing on its roof. That was incredible. I let out a victory yell. “WOO!”

I spent a great deal of my night leaping over tall buildings in a single bound and thinking little of it.

I came across a band of baddies who were trying to take advantage of a woman. Upon closer inspection, I saw that it was Nikki. She had gone out earlier and must’ve been walking home when they popped out of the shadows. I was only sorry I didn’t show up sooner.

I jumped down without a word. The noise startled them. They were a talkative bunch. The biggest guy initiated the conversation. “Hey! Mind your own business, bucko.” I ignored him and kept walking towards them.

“Get out of here, this doesn’t concern you!” My strides grew longer and my pace quickened as I glanced at the little guy who said this last bit. I came into the light and he said “what’s with the fucking suit?”

Without a word, I grabbed the biggest guy, threw him aside, broke the little guy over my knee, and grabbed hold of the middle guy who hadn’t said anything to me until this point. “What’s wrong, chum? Can’t get it up if the girl wants it?”

“N-no! D-don’t k-kill me! I was just hanging out with them! I didn’t want to hurt her!”

“Then why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you stop it!?” I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth.

“Because Brett…he’s the big guy you threw…he’s the leader! He’ll kill us all if we don’t listen to him.”

“Yeah? Well you listen to me. If I see you or your friends out here again, I will kill you.” About this time, I heard Brett standing up.

Quickly, I turned around, dashed at him, and pushed him against the wall, knocking a good bit of dust and brick sediment off the wall, and knocking Brett out. The middle guy bolted off without a word.

I looked at Nikki. She looked grateful, but scared. “Do you need an escort home?”

“I’ll be fine, thank you.” She smiled. I always loved her smile.

“Stick to the main roads.” I leapt up onto the building I had come down from and kept an eye on her as she walked home. She was safe the rest of the way there.

I made it home and took the suit off, hiding it under my bed. About the time I was finished hiding it, I heard a knock at my apartment. I went to the door, not realizing I was in my boxers still.

Nikki was at the door. “Can I come in?”

Without waiting for an answer, she rushed past me and sat on my couch. She knew she didn’t need permission to come in here. I hurried into the next room and put pants on.

“What’s the matter?” I asked after I was fully dressed. Nikki was crying.

“I just…I need a friend right now. You’ve been there for me and I just need someone to be with right now. I can’t stand being alone. Not now.”

I scooted over and put my arm around her. We had done this before, but I never really knew what had happened. I usually suspected it was her now ex-boyfriend and his shenanigans, but right now I knew what was going on. I wished I didn’t.

“Dan, you’ve always been there for me.” She sobbed. “I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”

I shushed her and told her it would be all right like I always did. I left out that I knew what she had just gone through. These days I never told anyone the whole story. I’m always leaving out the details.

Maybe that’s why I’m coming clean now.

3. Flying, Dancing, and Other Things You Can Spoil With a Partner

I woke up the next morning, sore and not wanting to go to work. I turned on the TV, and watched a bit of local news with a bowl of cereal in my lap.

The reporter was talking to a police officer who was holding a video recorder.

“We discovered this at the scene of a noise complaint. By the time we got there, everyone was gone. The officer in the passenger seat of the cruiser found this.” He held up the cam-corder.

Then the news channel showed what was on the camera. It was footage of me taking care of the rapists. I was kicking ass. Proud as I was, I remembered what Vic had said about seeing me on the news. Now I was really nervous about going to work.

Vic let me have it when I got there. I didn’t know how to react when he approached me and told me to get in his office. He had obviously seen the news this morning.

“What the hell is the matter with you? I didn’t want you to put the suit on and fight crime! That’s the last thing you should’ve done!”

“I couldn’t help it, Vic!” I really couldn’t. “What was I supposed to do?”

“You were supposed to keep out of it! Call the police.”

“It would have been too late! Nikki would have been killed. Or worse.”

Vic’s face softened. He cocked his head to one side, put his hands on his hips, and asked, “You knew this girl?”

“Yes. I grew up with her. I couldn’t just let her get taken advantage of like that. Those guys were going to hurt her.”

Vic shook his head. “All right. But don’t go off saving her every time she’s in trouble. The bad guys will get the idea that you and her are close.”

“She’s not prone to trouble.”

“Good.”

Nothing more was said on the subject after that.

At the end of the day, however, Vic approached me and said “don’t try to be Captain Unstoppable. It’s more pressure than you can handle. It was too much for me.” He said it all quiet, too. He didn’t want anyone to know who he used to be.

Later that night, I put the suit back on, despite Vic’s warnings. I loved the adrenaline rush it gave me. I loved being a part of the night life, only instead of being one of the scum that walk the streets, I was one of the good guys. Like a cop, only better. More respect. This time, I was going to try flying.

I found a rooftop with a nice area, ran, and jumped. I got really great air at first, but then I started to come down. There wasn’t a rooftop below me from where I was falling. It was just the road. I started screaming.

I decided that I wouldn’t die this way. I was wearing the whole suit, so I wouldn’t die anyway, but I didn’t want to land either. Just a second before I hit the ground, narrowly missing a car, the cape caught and I started flying.

Flying, to those of you who don’t know, is intense. The closest anyone has ever come to actually flying without being a superhero or being inside an airplane is hang-gliding. Before that night, I could only imagine how incredible hang-gliding must be. Now that I’ve flown, I know, and I can say with confidence that nothing compares to flying.

I landed back at my apartment. I took the mask off, recovered from flying, and changed into a pair of sweat pants.

I sat down and saw myself on the news again. Someone knocked. “Come in,” I hollered, not thinking.

“The door is locked, goofus.” That was Nikki.

“Oh. I’ll be right there.” I unlocked the door and she came on in. She then plopped on my couch, munching on a bag of popcorn. She was really good at getting over things. Just last night she was crying on my shoulder. Either that, or she was good at hiding how she felt. “What’s up?” I asked.

“Your hero is on the news. I wanted to see your reaction. You seem to be unfazed. This is strange, due to your apparent obsession with the dude back in high school.”

“Oh, well, I guess you just get over some things.” I watched as I almost hit a car when I was just getting the hang of flying. The expression on my face must have changed.

“Spoke too soon, I see. You look more excited than I’ve seen you in years.”

I smiled, “Yeah. I’ve got this tivoed if you want to go do something.” I didn’t want her to watch me go crazy flying. She didn’t know it was me, of course, but I guess that’s the point. She would probably make fun of the guy behind the mask if she didn’t know it was me.

“I wanna sit here and watch this. Besides, I don’t like crowds these days.”

“What happened to Miss Nikki Moore, the club diva?” Last year, Nikki was really big on clubs. She had just turned 21 then and felt like she had nothing better to do than visit bars and clubs where she would meet all sorts of shady characters.

“I’m all grown up now. I don’t like the bar or club scene anymore.” She sprawled out across the couch and looked at me with these big, blue eyes. I was leaning against the divider that separated my living space from my kitchen. All I could really see of her face was her eyes. They literally held me where I stood.

“What if I wanna go dancing?” I wasn’t serious.

“We can dance right here.” She got up. She was serious.

“Nikki, come on, I don’t dance.”

“Oh, come on, you’ve got feet that work.” She grabbed my hands, “You can dance.” And pulled me away from the divider, pressing her body against mine.

“There’s no music.”

She shook her head, swayed, and began dancing and humming. Then she spoke, real softly into my ear, “There doesn’t have to be music to dance, Dan. It’s just you, me, and the TV.”

We danced to the sound of the television for a long time. I held her. Then I pulled back a little and kissed her on the lips.

“What are you doing?” She gasped.

“I…just…you were…” I stammered and stumbled over my words.

“Oh, God. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…I sent the wrong message, didn’t I?”

“I thought you wanted me to.”

“To kiss me? Dan, you’re like my brother!”

Those words hurt me more than any other words could have hurt me at that moment. “So the coming to my apartment and dancing with me…making me stay in…that didn’t mean anything?”

“I don’t know, Dan. I don’t know! I gotta go.” She grabbed her purse and walked towards the door.

“Nikki, please!”

“I’m sorry, Dan. I should’ve…I’ll talk to you later.”

She left my apartment, and I didn’t get so much as a text message from her for a few days. Never in my life had I been so angry with myself.

4.Action!

The rest of the week was really laid back. Not much work got done, but it was fine because there weren’t too many customers coming in. It was surprising because we had all these figures of Captain Unstoppable on the wall. You’d think that my new alter-ego would cause people to want to buy them, but I guess not many people knew or cared about Captain Unstoppable these days.

Once during the week, Vic came up to me and asked me straight out, “Are you going to be the hero, or are you just trying out the suit?”

I thought back to how much I loved flying. How exhilarating it was to save Nikki. I loved it. I didn’t like being on the news, but my love for flying and crime fighting outweighed that, so I said “I am serious about this. I want to be Captain Unstoppable.”

He nodded. “Then you need to know that Dr. Kane will be after you. He’s not in jail anymore, so take great care to never tell anyone who you really are. I also want you to take this earpiece. It tunes into police scanners. You’ll be able to find and fight crime easier with this. The best part is, it’s so small no one can see it.”

I took this in, and didn’t tell Vic who Kane really was. I went home and slept.

I jolted out of bed, awakening from a nightmare. I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I decided to put the earpiece in. There was a gang war close to where I lived. I grabbed my suit.

I put it on and went downstairs to clean up. It was really awkward at first. Everyone was wearing colors. I don’t know much about gangs to this day, but I knew that one of the gangs were the Fighting Montys, a local gang of Italian kids and Mexicans dressed in purple and green. The other gang was the Crimson Kings, a bunch of white kids dressed in red and pink.

For a second, all of the fighting stopped when I showed up. I made sort of an entrance, flying down with my cape flapping around my ankles, trying to look heroic. One of the Montys turned to me and said “Who the fuck are you?”

“I am Captain Unstoppable.” The words sounded strange coming out of my mouth, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

“Yeah? We’ll see how unstoppable you really are! Get ‘im!”

They all set aside their differences and came together as a group to attack me. I was fighting off guys twice my size with ease, and not even breaking a sweat. I couldn’t fly away, though. All I could do was throw guys off of me. I heard sirens soon, and eventually got a lot lighter. Everyone had taken off and the police were pointing their guns at me.

“Freeze!” I put my hands in the air. It was at this point that I realized that I could fly and was invincible. I put my hands down and took off.

I heard the guns fire and felt the hot metal bouncing off my suit. Vic had lied. The suit was bullet proof.

Soon I had flown away from them, and was atop a building, waiting for my heart to stop beating.

I smelled smoke. Not like a cigarette or marijuana either. It was like a bonfire. I live in the city. There are no bonfires here. I opened the door on the roof, and sure enough there was smoke in the building. Someone had started a fire here. I turned my goggles to the heat detection setting, and found the source of the fire. It was down on the 7^th floor.

I made my way through the halls, making sure everyone had gotten out. I got to the seventh floor and found the fire. It was huge. I didn’t feel it much, though, because I was wearing the suit. In room 703, there was a little girl sobbing.

“Hold on! I’ll get you,” I said. I walked through the flames and found her. She was small. I don’t remember much about the whole thing except for that one fact; she was very small.

I picked her up and jumped out the window. By that time, the fire department had come and my work was done. The fire department didn’t try to thank me at all. In fact, they were mad that I had shown up at all. I flew off before they could unleash their anger.

I collapsed when I got home.

I saw myself all over the news the next morning.

“Channel 5 reporting, last night a gang war was stopped and a crisis averted as the victims of a fire were rescued, not by the fire or police department, but by a masked hero. Is this the hero who disappeared almost 20 years ago?”

“…the events of last night, a crisis averted as a masked vigilante saved the day…”

“I didn’t know what was going on, I was just there doing my job…”

All sorts of opinions seemed to flutter around. The main one was that I was a hero, though.

I decided to go out again that night.

I got it all on and ready to go. Just as I was putting the mask on, I heard a knock at the door. I contemplated not answering it, but decided to do it anyway. I quickly threw a pair of jeans and a hoodie on and answered the door.

It was Nikki. “Look,” she said, “I don’t want anything to be awkward between us.” She came into my apartment. She wasn’t leaving soon.

“What are you doing?” I asked as she turned on the TV. I wanted her here right now, but at the same time I just wanted her to leave so I could clean up the streets.

“I’m doing what I would normally do on a night that I don’t work. I’m hanging out at my best friend’s apartment and watching TV. Wanna smoke some weed?”

“Nikki, no. You can’t stay here.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have to do something.” I went into the other room to hide the rest of the hero stuff.

“Do what? You work days. You don’t have a girlfriend. You aren’t a social butterfly. You never have anything to do except hang out with me, and you didn’t even have that for the last few days. I missed you, though, and I don’t want to lose you as a friend. You’ve been there for me when no one else has, and I value that over anything in the world, including my pride. So please, just hang out with me.”

“I really would love to,” I came out of my room, “but…”

Nikki interrupted me, “Dan, I don’t know how else to put it. I’m sorry I led you on. I’m sorry I didn’t kiss you back. And I’m especially sorry that I freaked out at you. Stop making such a big deal out of this!”

I swallowed twice and sat down. I didn’t pay attention to what was on. I couldn’t pay attention. She was too close to me. I scooted a little bit away from her, and she stayed where she was. She was still too close.

“I’m going to grab a beer,” I said, standing up.

“You don’t drink.” She looked at me and smiled halfway, not showing her teeth.

“Um…yeah, but I think now’s a good time to start.”

“There’s no beer in the fridge, is there?”

“No, there’s not. I’m gonna go get some. You can stay here and watch TV if you want. I’ll be back soon.”

She nodded. “Ok. Pick up some popcorn while you’re out. And cookies.”

“I’ve got popcorn. And there are some Oreos in the pantry if you want them.”

I grabbed my keys, made sure the mask was in my hoodie pocket and left the apartment. I looked both ways, then went to the staircase to access the roof.

When up there, I took off the pants and hoodie and put my mask on. I had forgotten the goggles at the apartment, but was wearing the earpiece. There was a robbery going on a few miles away.

I flew to the location, and discovered smoke. There was a S.W.A.T. team outside, and they all looked confused.

“So, you think you’re the only one who can come out of hiding, eh Vic?” Dr. Kane taunted me from the street.

“Don’t call me that, Kane.”

“Last I heard you owned a comic shop. How’s that going?” He fired a blast from his hand. Apparently, I was not the only one with a customized suit.

My reflexes dodged it. “You heard wrong. I’m a billionaire playboy who lives in a bat cave.” I landed and rushed at him, pinning him to the wall. He too was wearing a mask. It was plain and covered his whole face, but he still wore goggles. I wasted no time head butting him.

He collapsed, but got up again and came at me, hitting me harder than I had ever been hit before.

He then climbed into the air, money in hand. He, too was able to fly. I recovered and pursued him.

He liked to make me work. He wend under bridges, between trains, and low over bypasses to make me chase him.

One of these times that he flew over train tracks, he missed the train and I didn’t. I lost him at that point. The train was ruined, my prey was lost, and I felt like a failure.

Without listening to the train conductor curse at me, I returned to the roof of the apartment building, put my clothes back on, and went inside. Nikki was still there.

“did you get the beer?”

I forgot about the beer. “No.”

“I see. You went on a walk to get away from me then?”

“No, you’re reading too much into this. I got mugged.” I lied. I didn’t have any cash on me, though, so it worked.

“Oh my god!” she got up and threw her arms around me. “I’m sorry. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine. Just…stay a little longer.” I needed her arms around me at this moment. I didn’t care how awkward it was.

“I’ll stay with you all night if you need me,” she spoke into my shoulder.

I smiled “That’s ok.” I pulled away and let her go. “I just need someone here for a while.”

She hugged me again. Then she pulled back and kissed me on the cheek. “It’s ok. Have a seat. I’m going to my apartment for a second, and I’m coming back with some liquor.”

She left, and I took the time she was gone to get out of my costume and put some more comfortable clothes on; sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Nikki came back over and she poured me a drink. I downed it in one gulp and asked for another one.

“slow down there, tiger. I don’t want you getting too drunk on me now.”

“With the night I’m having…”

She smiled, pouring herself a drink. “Well then, if my pants come off, please be a gentleman and cover me up.” She said this like it was a toast, and gulped the shot down.

We drank and talked for the next few hours. She eventually revealed something to me that I never knew.

“You remember that one time…last time I came over? The time I just sat here and cried, and you held me. I really appreciated that. I was going to be at Eric’s house that night. You know, my ex? I told you it was a get-together, yeah, and it was, but see, I thought it wouldn’t be just him there. Anyway, it was just him, and he tried some funny stuff, so I left. Well you never asked what was wrong. I appreciated it at the time, but I think you should know. You should also know some other stuff too.” She was really slurring her words. She was drunk, I could tell.

“You don’t need to say anything, Nikki. I can tell you’re drunk.”

“No! I wanna say something! I want you to know what happened. You deserve to know. He tried to do stuff to me. I told him no. He pursued anyway. Then he…hit me.” She started crying. “He hit me a lot. I kept saying no, and eventually I hit him back. I kicked him in between the legs. I actually felt bad about that. I left at that point. Then these other guys came out of nowhere and tried to…tried to…god, you know! They were just as sick as Eric.” She sobbed. “I got away from them, too. It doesn’t matter how, but the sad part is I never want to see the guy who saved me again. I don’t want to see that mask again. He seemed to be just like them. Saving me and expecting something. Some sort of…cheap…fucking handout. You’re the only guy who seems to see me as an actual person.”

I put my arm around her. I was very drunk, but not very talkative at this point. Part of me thought it would be a good idea to tell her who I really was. I realized that was a bad idea after the idea came to me.

She looked up at me and kissed me. I kissed her back. I knew I shouldn’t have, but I wanted it so badly. I held her, caressed her body, and kissed her.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 18:06:30 GMT

it does seem pointless, doesn't it? Posting something in such an old forum. Something personal that everyone can see. It's like going to school naked. Everyone can see everything that you're trying to hide, and if you're insecure, you're going to get made fun of.
I am Sam, and this is my newest entry on Xanga. It's been a really long time since I've posted anything. A lot has changed since then. Let me update. I'm no longer dating anyone. I haven't been dating anyone for a few months now. My last serious relationship was with Meghan. That was sad, really. I'm no longer at Job Corps. That place sucks. Their ridiculous rules and regulations make me sick. Currently, I'm at home trying to find a job.

why do I keep you guys posted? because I can!

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 22:40:06 GMT

I'm at job corps.

I read a lot.

I'm in culinary arts.

it's okay.

that's all you need to know.

(oh, I'm dating this awesome girl, Meghan. that's going well)

holy shit it's been a while

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 05:03:29 GMT

it's been about a month since I last posted. However, I said that I would post things that I didn't want other people to see. The only people that will ever possibly look at this is Kina, and I've learned that I can trust her with anything. Besides, I doubt I'll be saying anything that she doesn't know.

I thought I'd forget how badly being cheated on hurts. I was wrong...

A long time ago, I dated a girl I thought I loved. Her name was Melda. Back then, of course, I was a freshman, and knew dick shit about love, but back then I didn't care. About a year and a half later, I found something out that I didn't want to hear; she had cheated on me. By that time, she had moved away to Thief River Falls, but she came back every now and then to say hello. One of those times, we hooked up again. Not long after that, a good friend of mine told me she had cheated on me. Her name was Shandi. I didn't believe her at that point. Rather, I didn't want to believe her. It was just too hard. This girl I thought I loved couldn't have cheated on me...
We broke up due to the issue of not being able to see each other. Nevertheless, my suspicions were confirmed while I was dating Kina. That one hurt.

2007, almost two years after hearing about Melda's infidelity, I hear that Alicia, my now ex girlfriend, had cheated on me. I, again, chose not to believe it at the time. It was just easier. However, about two hours ago, I learned the truth from her mouth. And now I'm beginning to wonder if love is even worth it anymore.

I've dated a lot of girls. and it's strange, but I can only recall loving one. No names will be dropped on that topic, it will only create confusion.

for whatever reason, I always manage to fuck things up. I don't know why, I just do. I don't know anything anymore.
/pity party.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 06:27:05 GMT

well it's time for an update.

1. I'm dating Alicia.

2. I'm doing alright in school

3. I think I'm done with xanga.

I don't think this comes as a shock to anyone, but most of you have me on myspace, so this really isn't anything very devastating.

for those of you who don't have me my webpage is www.myspace.com/pop_star_hater

I may post something on here later, but probably not. I'm moving on in more ways than one.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 01:51:34 GMT

drama sickens me. people who start drama sicken me. If it keeps up, I may be forced to discontinue association with certain groups of people. That means no more youth group for a time. Not permanently, but for a short time. It's not set in stone, I'm still going to go to youth for now. If people don't get over themselves and continue to put my relationships with others (God, others in the group) in jeopardy I am going to stop for a time.

currently, that's all I have to say on that. The show the other night was awesome. Those who didn't go missed out.

I feel sick right now. Like I could puke...that hasn't happened naturally in a long time. Strange...

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 02:44:07 GMT

THERE IS NOTHING TO REPORT

strange, huh?

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Sun, 07 Jan 2007 23:23:59 GMT

So Kina and Denny are now finally dating. Honestly, I'm happy for them. A small part of me wants to jump off a bridge so I don't have to think about them anymore, but that's a very small part. They look great together, and maybe their relationship is for the best. I still love her very much, and would do anything for her. For that reason, I'm not going to be a dickhead about this thing.

It's weird, love. We've fought so many times and always about stupid things (sometimes it's something significant, but a lot of the times we've fought it was because we didn't like something the other said or did. It was pretty stupid), but we're still great friends. I really don't know how she feels about me, and honestly, I don't have to. Not at this moment, anyway. Knowing would only complicate things. Right now, the best thing for me to do is stay single and wait for something to happen. Not necessarily with her, much as I'd like that, but something. No...waiting would make me anxious and I'd jump at every sign. Waiting isn't the word. Preparing? Yes.

Right now, there will be no relationships between me and anyone. I'm going to swing and flirt and stuff, but there will be no serious relationship. Right now it would hurt too much. Maybe the relationship with Ellen was a mistake. She damn well thought so. Ah well, it's over now.

tomorrow I leave for Bismarck. There will be much rejoicing. I get to show off my mad techie skills. Basically all I'm doing all day is goofing around on the computer, showing off to bigwigs at the Capitol. How cool is that? If you said fuckin' awesome, or anything like that, you were correct.

goodbye guys for now. I am going to go...do something... ~.^ not sure what though

yes, I'm making excuses to end this xanga entry. So what?

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 21:04:30 GMT

girls suck. They are nothing but trouble.

strangely enough, I'm not as mad as I was last night. I'm much happier, actually. Everything she told me...everything I thought was wrong, though.

bye bye.