it's been about a month since I last posted.  However, I said that I would post things that I didn't want other people to see.  The only people that will ever possibly look at this is Kina, and I've learned that I can trust her with anything.  Besides, I doubt I'll be saying anything that she doesn't know.

I thought I'd forget how badly being cheated on hurts.  I was wrong...

A long time ago, I dated a girl I thought I loved.  Her name was Melda.  Back then, of course, I was a freshman, and knew dick shit about love, but back then I didn't care.  About a year and a half later, I found something out that I didn't want to hear; she had cheated on me.  By that time, she had moved away to Thief River Falls, but she came back every now and then to say hello.  One of those times, we hooked up again.  Not long after that, a good friend of mine told me she had cheated on me.  Her name was Shandi.  I didn't believe her at that point.  Rather, I didn't want to believe her.  It was just too hard.  This girl I thought I loved couldn't have cheated on me...
We broke up due to the issue of not being able to see each other.  Nevertheless, my suspicions were confirmed while I was dating Kina.  That one hurt.

2007, almost two years after hearing about Melda's infidelity, I hear that Alicia, my now ex girlfriend, had cheated on me.  I, again, chose not to believe it at the time.  It was just easier.  However, about two hours ago, I learned the truth from her mouth.  And now I'm beginning to wonder if love is even worth it anymore. 

I've dated a lot of girls.  and it's strange, but I can only recall loving one.  No names will be dropped on that topic, it will only create confusion. 

for whatever reason, I always manage to fuck things up.  I don't know why, I just do.  I don't know anything anymore.
/pity party.